It’s important to pause and reflect so that we can evaluate our happiness, our results, our path.


But don’t you think that sometimes we can be quite cruel to ourselves?


The word ‘Truth’ means facts that have no opinion. Maybe they are not what you want to hear, but it is the truth. e.g: “I know you love each other, but let’s look at the cold hard facts, you don’t currently have enough money to get married.”

These facts have no opinion, they are still often hard to digest but as long as they are not littered with opinion and delivered in a supportive way, we can digest them. Sometimes it’s necessary to deliver facts without any bull or fluff. In fact we might even label them as a bit of a kick up the arse, to inspire us into action. 


But then you look up the definition of ‘cold’. It says a cold person does not show much emotion, especially affection, and therefore seems unfriendly and unsympathetic. If someone’s voice is cold, they speak in an unfriendly unsympathetic way.

We would deem it cruel, to give feedback in a way that was not objective or a personal attack. We often talk about sandwiching development areas between positives, but do we really do this when we are evaluating ourselves. Do we speak to ourselves in a way we wouldn’t speak to other people?

One way I encourage those that I work with, to start to be kinder to themselves, is to write it down and ‘get it out of your head’. This way you can get it out , amend it and reposition it to yourself, you can start to train your brain to be kinder to you.

Have you ever tried writing a letter to yourself as part of your journaling, reflection and self kindness?

Here’s one I wrote this morning, when I was pausing and reflecting over the last few weeks, I’ve been working long hours in the preparation of the launch of my program.


Dear Emma,

Well done for the last few months, you’ve been working so hard, trying to help so many .

The results they’ve had has helped them through these strange and uncertain times. At what ever point they’ve come to you, you’ve helped them progress taking them from a place of stress  or helping those get from good to great, challenging them to achieve their peak and get mentally fit and strong 💪- You’ve given them the chance to shine!

Those that you have trained now have the opportunity to grow their businesses and get the message out there about mental health and wellbeing to get the world talking.

The feedback that you’ve had recently has been immense, on the hard days don’t forget that. We all have days where we are tired and don’t get as much done.

You’re juggling a lot , shifting your business online and trying to school  🏫 3 children hasn’t been easy. It’s been far from perfect, but you’ve all done your best .

Your children are happy, growing up so fast. Each characters in their own right. Take some time with each of them as soon as you can, you have weeks before they will be back at school in September. Treasure every moment. You know life is so precious, so fragile and can be taken away at any time.

It’s been tiring and you’ve not had the chance to look after yourself as much these last few weeks, make sure the balance doesn’t slip too far the other way! You know exactly what you need to do, you’ve done so much work on this for you and for others..

You’ve got some exciting days ahead birthdays and your anniversary.  Launch your programme, finish your project then make sure you have a well deserved rest with your family.

~ Emma ✌️’


Is this not a better way to talk to yourself?

Reflecting on your past experiences, allows you look at them once again thoughtfully, it doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should be factual and not cold or cruel. Celebrating is giving praise by saying what specifically was great or wonderful, taking stock of the impact that you have had. Learning is the acquisition of knowledge or skills through study, experience, or being taught and this is all about understanding what we can continue to learn, tweak and share to help us to live the life that we want to lead.

Pausing and self reflection is so important, It can give you the chance to celebrate what you’ve done , to learn from what hasn’t gone so well but also to talk positively to yourself, so that you can move forward in your process of knowing and loving you.

What would you like to say to yourself ? 

Let me know in the comments and if you would like to learn in more detail about the content of my program which gets you to work on self development areas such as this.  I have an course starting in a week or message me to book a call to talk through any questions you may have.

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